Friday funnies: Man Talk

Friday funnies time!  Here's a few gems from the Husband, with a couple add-ons from Dan and Isaac, the seats of brotherly wisdom that can only originate from the elementary age mind.  Enter at your own risk.

I made coleslaw from the bag and was trying to make it taste more...authentically homemade and amazing.

Me: Try this coleslaw and tell me what you think.  I put some of my balsamic vinaigrette in and I think it made it a lot better!

Him: You put balsamic in everything...

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Me: I made regular pizza just for you! No chili powder, no weird cheeses, just regular pepperoni and onion.

Him: No balsamic? You put balsamic on freaking everything!

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Him:  I need a simple answer to my question - that's it.  But women are just all over the place.  Like boom! boom! boom! (Hand holding fork accentuates this.)  Seriously, I don't mean that meanly but I don't know how y'all get anything done.  I just don't understand it.  *shakes head*

Me:

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Marching into the bedroom stark naked to get dressed for work, he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, looks at me, and says, "I look good, babe!"  *peck flex*

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Three months into dating...

Isaac:  When are you and C going to have babies?

Me: We're not married yet so no time soon.  Why?

Isaac: I want to be an uncle.

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Daniel: I can't believe I'm going to be an uncle before I'm 12!

Me: Um...it doesn't quite work like that.

Daniel: I'll be the fun Uncle Dan and take them out for ice cream, and play *smiles*

Me: I'm sure you will.  But it won't be before you're 12; we still have to get married and babies take 9 months.

Daniel: *starts counting 9 months from the wedding date*

Me:

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Me: Isaac, guess what?  Colton and I are going to get married!

Isaac: *smiles*

Me: So we'll have a wedding soon, like a big party.

Isaac: Will there be cake?

Me: Yes, a big one.

Isaac: Yay!! *runs off yelling the good news of cake to Daniel*

It's not the nuptials, it's the food.  Lucky thing we didn't go all modern and skip the cake!

Any funny things your men say?  Care to put a smile on our faces?  It may be Good Friday, but remember that His sacrifice is the best thing that's ever happened to us measly beings down here, so it's good to smile and appreciate it a bit!  Pleasepleaseplease share you know you want to!